The Sydney Easter Show

The Sydney Easter Show is a giant event that bears a striking resemblance to the Eastern States Expo, a.k.a., the Big E, New England's bizarre Jacuzzi selling-farm animal competing-carnival riding smash-up meant to resemble a county fair. Like the Big E, locals either love or hate the Sydney Easter Show- no one is apathetic. When I mentioned I wanted to go to the Easter Show, EVERYONE said the highlight of the whole fair is the wood chopping competition- but ultimately I preferred the baking tent. I convinced my flatmate, Ryan, to accompany me on the expedition, and he took his job as cultural ambassador very seriously.

Let's review how it went down:


The entrance to the Show. Here, Ryan asked which rides we should go on. I said that I would go on the Ferris wheel, and really that was only a maybe, and that I would also scream the whole time we were on it. Weirdly, he wasn't enthused and we didn't go on a single ride.

As a courtesy, these clowns suck your soul out right at the beginning. 

Here, we examine Prawns in their natural environment, a breeding tank, because this is the equivalent of a prize show pig in the state of New South Wales. Watch 'em go!

We also found these amazing prize pumpkins and truly beautiful painted butternut squashes. 

Our first food stop of the day: fried Oreos. Smells like home.

Next, we made our way to the baking tent, which was entirely composed of glass cases stacked high with vivisected cakes of all varieties. I don't know what these cakes were made out of, but an initial viewing suggests they may have been shellacked for posterity.

Various award winners

Congrats to Jo-Anne 

"Puddings," I guess the British kind? 

Look at the detail on those suckers. 

The gluten free competitors. 

Amazing/ macabre 

Next it was off to a sheep dog demonstration, wherein four-to-six extremely enthusiastic and amazingly focused dogs demonstrated what they were literally born to do, while one very Australian man and a dozen sheep just hoped for the best. 

Then it was time for some lunch:

After lunch, it was FINALLY. TIME. FOR. THE. WOOD CHOPPING!! People poured into the stadium, and we settled in with some ice cream (not pictured) and predicted which big man (or woman! there was one woman!) would be the best at cutting the required wood in the allotted time. 

The wood had it coming. 

Ok, I wasn't really impressed by the wood chopping. Like yes, I guess it's impressive, those axes probably weigh as much as I do, but most of the suspense came from me imagining what would happen if any of those axes slipped out of someone's grasp.

After the chopping, we were ready to get our barnyard on. First, we traipsed through the duck and chicken section:

Behold! Ducks!

Preeeetty

Hello!!

This chicken looks like a demon 

This duck stared me down and I looked away to show my submission

We didn't stay for too long

Next, we were ready for some more friendly animals?? We waited in a super long line to get into the petting barn, but boy, we were not disappointed.

PIGLETS

PIGGGLETTTS

For $1, you could feed the goats and sheep. Ominously, the sign says not to feed the larger animals, I guess because they're big enough. 

Petting zoo glamour shot

It all starts to innocently

"Hey little guy!"

"You're all so hungry!"

OH GEEZ 

Finally, we rounded out the visit by watching ducks go down a miniature slide into an cute little pool.

Perfection. 

Soz

Soz 
/ˈsɒz/
adjective 
 1) Ozzie for feeling regret or penitence

I'm sorry I've failed to update this blog. Sometimes you intend to write in your travel blog, but then you move and you don't have internet for five weeks and then you start working a lot and then you feel like you have nothing to write about, then you feel guilty for not writing and ashamed that your supposedly super-amazing life in a tropical paradise city isn't wall-to-wall excitement filled with fancy coffees and yacht parties. Soz. 



In the past four months I have: 

• Gotten a job with the NSW police 

• Left that boring job

• Landed a new gig at a high end wine shop (follow us on Instagram to see what I do @ebaycellars) 

• Pet baby goats at the Sydney Easter show

• Hung out with Sharks at the aquarium 

• Rounded out my crop top collection 

• Slowly began to carve out a friend group 

• Lost all sense of how much a sandwich should cost 

• Experienced my first real change of season in this country 

I will write about these things, because, seriously, I have so many pictures and my face looks great in all of them, and I know you miss my face.

Moving!

Updates to follow!

The Oz Glos

Welcome to the Oz Glos, your guide to Aussie lingo. It's a work in progress.

Arvo: Afternoon
Avo: Avocado

Barbie: Either the grill itself or a gathering involving grilling. Seldom is BBQ sauce employed

Bogan: An unclassy person, usually of lesser means.
Brekkie: Breakfast or brunch

Chucking a Sickie: Faking a sick day or playing hooky

Dero: Abbrievation for derolict. Poor. Can be a person, place or thing
G'day: Hello, and welcome to Australia 

How's your father?: Sketchy or dodgey
Maccas: McDonald's 

Mates: Friends

No Worries, Mate: Thank you/ you're welcome/ sorry/ not sorry

Pash Rash: The redness around your mouth after a make out session with a guy who has stubble

Rock up: The same as walk up, but with swagger
Sausage Sandwich: A sausage wrapped in squishy white bread. This is actually a thing here.
Sausage Sizzle: Akin the a bakesale, but with sausage sandwiches.

She'll be 'right: Everything will be fine/don't worry about it/ walk it off
Sick Cunt: A term of praise
Shit Cunt: A term of derision
Taking the piss: Giving someone a hard time

Tea: Snack time or dinner. Does not actually refer to drinking tea. 

Tradey: An unskilled labor
Veggo: Vegetables, vegetarian food options, a vegetarian

We're not here to fuck spiders: Let's not waste time

Street Art Friday

Things I've Eaten: FOMO & Gelato

FOMO was born in major cities and never moved out of its parents' place. Tastes are fleeting but winning is forever so if you can't decide where to go you should probably just stay home since spending four pence (Quid? idk here) on anything other than the objective gold standard of whatever you need right now feels tantamount to punching yourself in the mouth. Whether it's tapas or burgers or tacos (jk about tacos, this is 'Straya), your choices are staggering and they're also looking right back at you, watching you while you choose. The FOMO-obsessed-Dev in us all would rather spend hours finding The Best food truck than wasting one second consuming an underachieving taco.

I wanted to find the best Gelato in Sydney, and I did. It's a 9 minute walk from my apartment.

Wildflower Wednesday

Spotted in Stanmore, NSW